When Friends and Camera Phones ATTACK
by Angel's Nocturne
Summary: For YGO Fanfiction Contest Season 2. Antagoshipping, followup to When Pharaohs and Kinky Thoughts Collide. Bakura just wants to play with his koi. Violently. So why does the entire world seem eager to keep them from their fun? KXYB YYxR weird


Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. Really, if I did, it wouldn't have even been published! It would still be a baby plot bunny burrowing inside my head… and knowing how lazy I am, it would never see the light of day, I'm sure.

Author's Note: Well, lookie here! Another one-shot for the glorious YGO Fanfiction Contest Season 2! (That means I have survived through the last round! YAY!)

And hey, what a treat THIS round has proven to be! The pairing for this one is **Antagoshipping** or **Seto Kaiba x Yami no Bakura**!! (giant fangirl squeal) Compy, I blame _you_ for this obsession. XD

This is a follow-up to _When Pharaohs and Kinky Thoughts Collide_, which was my one-shot for last season's Fragileshipping (or Ryou Bakura x Yami no Yugi) round (for all those know what I speak of, I know you're grinning already).

Read onward, my pretties! See what crack Teh Angel comes up with during ungodly hours with lots of _brain food_ (a.k.a. SUGAR!)!!

#2 Author's Note: Thoughts in _italics_. Written word in _italics_ with "quotations".

**When Friends and Camera Phones ATTACK!**

**By: Angel's Nocturne**

The science lab.

A place known for it's abundance of beakers, flasks, and things that go BOOM… the room where frog corpses were decapitated for the sake of "learning" and where an entire chart of periodic elements could be hammered into the small brains of impudent adolescents.

It also happened to be the place where a certain Thief King and billionaire CEO were doing things that—

"Mmm! B-Bakura…!"

"Shut up and bend over."

–are too disturbing to be put in words.

Kaiba glanced over at his koi, his expression conveying disbelieve. Looking into his eyes, however, it was more clearly a leer at being confronted.

"Who said… you had the right… to order me around?" he retorted breathlessly, still feeling the weight of the Thief King's lips upon his bruised ones.

Bakura looked down at him, raising an eyebrow in mock surprise. "The moment I made you my permanent bitch, of course… why? Do you want me to sign something so we can have it in writing?"

"No, since I am _not_ your bitch and—"

"I can have it in blood too if that makes you feel any better."

Kaiba shook his head. He was never one to give up but there was a lost cause in arguing with a deranged Tomb Robber. "… It doesn't, but your enthusiasm is amusing."

They were perched atop one of the science lab tables the students used. Originally their passionate encounter had started on the teacher's desk, but with an abundance of pointy things and piles of various papers creating a 'hostile' molesting environment—so dubbed by Bakura—it was found to be rather unappealing. So, they ended up somewhere in the second or third row, with Kaiba pinned against the table.

Bakura thought about what Kaiba said for a moment, before licking his lips absently. Kaiba watched the wet muscle trace over the pale, delicious lips he yearned to taste again as the Thief King's eyes focused on him, appearing to have noticed him.

"You find my enthusiasm amusing, eh?" Thin, pale hands ran themselves up Kaiba's chest, racing towards his face as Bakura grinded his body against the brunette's. Kaiba bit back a groan as one pale hand ran through his hair, the other tracing the line of his jaw. "I'd say it's more _arousing_… wouldn't you?"

That was all it took, and he was on him like white on rice—hands clamoring desperately for contact, teeth nipping harshly for entry. Bakura nearly climbed onto Kaiba, which the other did not refuse as his own hands trailed under the smaller's school uniform, feeling soft skin under his somewhat calloused hands. Bakura smashed his lips against his lover's, and moaned when Kaiba's tongue pushed its way through, fighting the other for dominance.

They were always fighting for dominance, one way or the other. It didn't matter what it was—whether it was dueling or foreplay. For the most part (though Kaiba claimed it was all the time) the dragon duelist found victory among the cards, but, as the Thief King pushed him further onto the table, pinning him down like a predator does it's helpless prey, it seemed the trophy for _this_ battle went straight to the thief.

Bakura broke their lip-lock for a moment, sucking in a breath. "So… do you think… this was a good idea… now…?"

Kaiba, breathless as well, laid back, brushing some of his slightly-dampened hair from his eyes. He missed doing this. He was constantly at work and taking care of Mokuba, so the rare moments he could lend to Bakura with his full attention were prized... not that Bakura didn't try to steal that attention every other waking moment. If he had _his _way Kaiba would be handcuffed to his bedside 24/7.

Unfortunately he had to follow Ryou's way... and that did not consist of handcuffed sex slaves.

"I always thought the idea was good." He watched Bakura, one eyebrow cocked in vague amusement that barely registered above the cloud of lust. "It was _my_ idea to begin with, wasn't it?"

Catching the joke Bakura grinned, his sharp canines displayed like glittering pearls. "So said the Millennium Eye."

After a moment of staring at one another, Kaiba rose up a little, leaving his face inches from the other's. "Well, if _that_'s the case, then can you tell me what I'm thinking about right now?" He rolled his hips into Bakura's, making him bite back a whimper and force it into a growl.

"Perhaps," Bakura answered, placing his hand onto Kaiba's muscular chest as another, naughtier hand headed further south to rest on something _far_ more sensitive. "But I'd much rather tell you mine, since they'll be describing the next five minutes in _very_ good detail."

That was all it took to start them up again. Though Kaiba tried to gain dominance and find a way to subdue the thief Bakura refused to allow his pet that pleasure. To ensure this he pushed Kaiba further against the table and more towards the connecting countertop, completely unaware in his haze that he slammed the brunette right into a collection of glass beakers and test tubes—

**CRASH**!

"AAAH!" Whatever excitement Kaiba had built up over the past few minutes, it was gone now. "Goddamnit!"

Now it was replaced by the feeling of glass shards embedding themselves into his back as a few more flasks teetered off the counter and crashed on the floor.

"…."Almost completely unfazed, Bakura froze and stared around at the mess with nothing more than curiosity. He blinked stupidly. "Oh… fuck."

"That just about covers it," Kaiba growled. He tried to move so as to get comfortable but was still trapped beneath Bakura's straddling form. For being so skinny the teen could cling to him like a monkey does a tree.

Kaiba glanced around him; glass had shattered everywhere around him. He could barely twitch without another shard digging into him from behind and making him wince.

_Wonderful. _Now the term, "pain in the backside", had more meanings to him than the two he currently put up with.

"Great," Kaiba muttered, brushing a few pieces from off his arm. "Now there's glass all over my… hey, what the hell are you—?"

He looked up just in time to see Bakura pick up a particularly large piece of glass. Reddish brown eyes stared delightfully at its sharp, knife-like edge.

Then those eyes traveled down to a certain CEO.

Inwardly Kaiba gulped. _Oh for God's sake…._

"Bakura…." The same eyes, now clouded a little, switched back and forth between the glass and someplace below Kaiba's face, a small grin forming on his face. "… Kura, you're really not—"

"Oh, but I _am_…!" Bakura breathed. An evil glint came to those reddish brown eyes. Not a good sign. "And I think I _will_…."

"Kura—"

"Heheheh…." Bakura ignored his lover completely as he took his precious glass and brought it close to Kaiba's collarbone. Kaiba would've attempted resisting but Bakura subconsciously made sure that wasn't an option as he, without warning, dug the sharp edge into Kaiba's skin.

"Mmm… now _this_ is what I'm talking about…!" Eyes glittering with insane glee, Bakura's grin outstretched his face as he slid the glass across Kaiba's skin, the former Priest gritting his teeth against the sting. Blood formed along the cut in seconds, and Bakura sucked in a shaky breath. "Oh y-yeah… yeah that's the stuff…!"

"Bakura that _hurts_…."

"Oh, but it's _so_ very pretty…." Kaiba could only assume that something similar to a mental orgasm was a occurring in his koi's twisted head as his breathing came in heavy, swift intervals, his expression locked in some sinister delight.

_It figures I'd fall for the sick ones…. _"…'Kura you're staining my uniform."

"Mm?" Snapping out of his trance Bakura looked to see that the blood was now trailing down onto Kaiba's shirt and uniform jacket. His eyes gave the impression of "_Well, who really gives a fuck anyways_?" but then…. "Ah, I see."

The creepy horniness of earlier set back in. "I guess I need to clean up a little here…."

Kaiba didn't even have _time_ to think—before he could even gasp or protest Bakura's tongue was there, lapping up at the wound. Kaiba withered beneath the affection, barely able to contain his moans now as the King of Thieves suckled harshly on his skin.

Finally he pulled away, licking his lips like the Cheshire Cat.

"There. Did that make the boo-boo all better?" Kaiba started to open his mouth, hoping he would create a word and not some idiotic gurgling sound, but Bakura didn't give him a chance. "No? I guess I should keep going then—" He started back down….

"K-Kura!"

"Kaiba?" Both teens froze. "Hey, Kaiba, where are you?"

Instantly Bakura pulled away, an agitated look on his expression. "Who the fuck—?"

Tiny footsteps echoed closely as Kaiba scowled at the doorway. He thought he recognized that small, I-never-hit-puberty voice.

_Oh don't tell me_...

"Oh there you are, Kaiba!" Yugi said cheerfully, appearing in the doorway with an ever-present smile. "I was just wondering if you've seen Ya—" The youth stopped short, eyes final realizing what they were witnessing. "… oh, o-oh Bakura…." Yugi's face stained dark red as his giant, chibi eyes scanned the scene further, "umm… this is a bad time—"

"How'd you figure _that_ out, Sherlock?" Bakura snapped. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Yugi, what do you want?"

"Uh, I-I was just hoping y-you might know where Yami is… I haven't seen him since homeroom a-and—"

"Yeah, yeah, we got the idea." Bakura interrupted, waving the boy off. "Look, if you wanna know where 'His Majesty' is, go over by Ms. Amane's class. He's probably still there choking the life out of my hikari like he's a plushie." Bakura then narrowed his gaze and pointed out of the room. "Now get out, or else I'll tell Willy Wonka where you are so he can take you back to the chocolate factory."

Yugi glared, but it failed and turned into a pout. He was about to reply back when a pair of loud footfalls clamored up to him.

"Hey, Yuge!" said Joey as he came into view beside him. "There ya are! You won't believe what I just saw in the lunchroom—HOLY SHIT!" Seeing Bakura and Kaiba, the blond yelled a few colorful words and covered his eyes. "Awh God, I think I'm blind!"

Bakura grimaced humorlessly. "Excellent, now if you could only become deaf and dumb as well, that would make my day."

Joey growled, studying them with eyes like slits. "You guys are sick, ya'know that?" He looked at them disgustingly for a moment before his brown eyes widened. "W-Wait... this is my science class..." The realization hit him like a boulder and he made a gagging sound. "A-AND YOU'RE DOING IT ON **MY** DESK!" he shrieked. "Ugh, c'mon man, I have ta _sit_ there next period!"

"We'll remember to clean it up for you," Bakura hissed like a snake. He paused, and then—PHOOT!—he spat upon the black tabletop. "There—even a spit shine."

Kaiba never thought someone's face could turn that shade of angry red. "Why I oughta—"

"C'mon Joey… let it be, we gotta go find Yami," Yugi said, pulling Joey away by the arm. After the smoke stopped pouring out of his ears, the blond obeyed and straightened himself out.

"Yeah, you're right," he agreed. Yugi headed down the hall, with Joey close behind, but not before the teen shot one last look of resentment at the couple. "This ain't over, moneybags."

"If you'd play dead it would be, Mutt."

"WHAT'D YOU SAY—?"

"_Joey_…!"

"Sorry, Yuge, I'm coming," Joey answered, finally leaving the former thief and priest to their fun.

Or what was possibly left of it after that.

"What an obedient little mutt—he even comes when called," Bakura mused, watching the door with suspicious eyes. Kaiba nodded in agreement, only able to take a quick sigh before Bakura was upon him again. "Now, where did we leave off…?"

Kaiba recovered quickly enough. "I believe we were at the part where I overpower you and roll you over onto _your_ back in the glass—"

Suddenly they were cut short by a loud bang from behind them, by the door—Bakura wheeled around to see what it was this time, while Kaiba shifted so as to gaze beyond the mane that was Bakura's hair.

Bakura took one look at the intruders and rolled his eyes.

"Oh for the love of… MALIK! DEVLIN!" he barked.

Both Malik Ishtar and Duke Devlin were watching them from the doorway. It wasn't really the fact that they were staring at them that was annoying—it was more along the lines of the camera phone that Duke had in his hands, directed on them.

"Well, well, look what we got!" Malik snickered. "Domino High School Boys, GONE WILD."

"Get the hell out of here, Ishtar, or I may have to hurt you," Bakura growled, glaring adamantly. Though this move usually scared most bullies and muggers into submission, it seemed to have little of the same effect on these two. Instead they were giggling more.

"You're right, Malik-poo, this is _way_ more fun than catching Tristan when he's singing."

"Of course—I'm always right."

"Didn't you nimrods hear me?" Bakura snapped. Kaiba felt the thief tense above him. He knew Bakura never liked being ignored... this wouldn't be pretty. "I said…."

"To get out. And we will," Duke replied, "… as soon as we finish saving this pic to my phone to display to the world."

"I don't give a fuck. You have worse pictures of me on the Internet," Bakura retorted. Kaiba hid his mock surprise.

"And how come I've never seen said pictures?" he asked. To his irritation Bakura decided to focus more on the dice-boy instead.

"Yeah, but if I _just_ happen to, I don't know, digitally remaster it or something..."

Bakura twitched. "Get out."

"In a minute—"

"Now."

"I said, in a minu—"

"I SAID NOW!" Without warning the Millennium Ring around Bakura's neck flashed a dark light and in unison with it, Duke's cell phone burst into pieces.

"… Okay we're going." And as if they had vanished into thin air, Malik and Duke were out of sight.

Kaiba looked to the door with lack of amusement. "… Well that was fun."

"Depends on your definition of fun," Bakura snarled, but quickly changed his tone, now recognizing that the danger had past.

"Sooo…," he said, his voice like a snake slithering as he slinked back on top of Kaiba, eyes full of the same lust as if none of those interruptions had ever happened, "let me see if I remember where we were—"

**BRRRRRING! BRRRRING**!

"OH FUCK YOU!" Bakura yelled up at the ceiling. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"The school bell can't hear you." With Bakura distracted, he pushed the thief a little off of him as he started to straighten himself out. "Well, it looks as if we ran out of time." Bringing up a finger to stroke down the side of Bakura's face, Kaiba added quietly, "I guess you'll have to try remembering some other time."

Bakura's eye twitched. "… shut up and bend over."

BKBKBKBKBKBKBKBK

Meanwhile….

"Ry-Ry? Ry-chan, speak to me! SPEAK TO ME!"

"…."

"Say something my sweet! Just a word, just a sound… JUST SOMETHING!"

"..."

"Ryou…? Ryou, DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"…."

"Oh no… SOMEBODY GET ME A CREAM PUFF!!!"

THE END

(stomach growls) "… MAKE THAT TWO CREAM PUFFS! … I'm starving…."

Author's Note: DX

This is what happens when you leave your writing to the LAST DAY possible-- it comes out half-baked and shameful. Not my best but decent work for within the span of... three hours. Maybe I won't delete this one... maybe.

Flames are spit on and praise is my crack. Love y'all! (hug)


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